Needed: Spin Doctors

Spin doctors are a new breed of language techs. We seem to have an ever increasing need for this specialty by the country's public speakers and politicians. With an ever larger national scandal sheet to consume the news media it is no wonder. I don't have any statistics that directly refer to this subject. However, I have been watching the news for over half a century and can not recall ever seeing so many public figures, like celebrities and politicans, getting their noses rubbed in dirt of their own making.

I rather doubt that morals in general or personal integrity, in particular, are much different today than they were in the days of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. The fact that those gentlemen had mistresses (in fact, quite a few and many "of color") is common knowledge today. Children which resulted from those relationships were no cause for concern to the politicians, and certainly no public outcry was ever raised in the media of the time. Cocaine was legal, pot unheard of, and drinking the national pastime, so again no whisper of scandal ever appeared to blemish the saintly reputations of the leaders of our country back then.

Our European neighbors are apparently either more sophisticated, less immature, more worldly, or more personally engaged in affairs of the kind that titillate the viewers in this country. At any rate, conduct of the kind dominating the news here scarcely rates a mention in the tabloids abroad. The President of France is currently receiving congratulations by his fellow countrymen because his wife is appearing in public in the nude! Now there is an idea whose time has come. But on with our story.


I don't know if this is true, but it's funny, typical "Washington speak", and proves that a good PR machine is priceless.

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: "Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889." Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for comments. Hillary's staff of professional spin doctors sent back the following biographical sketch:

"Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

And THAT is how it's done.